craigjclark has talked me into the theaters to see the new Tron this weekend. I laughed out loud when he told me it was in 3-D. “I thought we'd seen the last of them in Captain EO.” Craig has known me since 1991 and really shouldn't be surprised when I say things like this.
Tron: Legacy has me apprehensive, to say the least. Star Wars may have been the first movie I saw, but Tron was the first movie I owned. This was back when “owning a movie” was a new and uncomfortable concept, kind of like “owning last Thursday”. While other kids wrote Basic games that exited with “Thank you for playing Lemonade Stand”, mine always said “END OF LINE”.
I couldn't tell you which movie was my favorite, but I do know which one has remained safe from toxic sequels, thanks entirely to Disney's pretending they'd never made Tron in the first place. EPCOT Center, Pagan Cathedral to The Future, didn't have a single Tron reference on the premises. (A park worker told me the omission was deliberate.)
Still, there were many rumors of a Tron sequel over the last decade.
The first I remember was Tron 2.0, which would have been the only movie in existence worthy of its “Point-Oh” suffix, since “
tron” actually was the name of a program.
Then came Tron Y2K, which didn't make it in time to avoid ridicule and was replaced by Tron: Killer App, which thankfully didn't make it at all.
Now it's Tron: Legacy, which was just another rumor until this week.
I am already suspicious because they've so narrowly missed the obvious name, Tron: Legacy Code. Legacy code is a real-life industry term for ancient software that you don't know who wrote, don't really know what it does, but nevertheless can't live without. This perfectly describes a thirty-year-old security AI discovered to be still guarding the mainframes when the company goes to shut them down.
…if that's even remotely what the movie's about. I have no idea. I haven't seen so much as a photo yet. This was both accidental, because I didn't know there was anything to see, and deliberate, because I strictly avoid promotional materials for any movie I might like.
This policy is a direct result of Terminator 2. The opening third of that movie is all misdirection to set up the first gunshot, when you discover that you've misinterpreted everything up to that point… unless you'd seen the preview, which gave it all away. I've never seen a movie so sabotaged by its own advertising, and with a little effort, I never will again.
So Tron: Legacy has me nervous enough that I'll have (extra) trouble sleeping tonight. I didn't have this problem with the first Star Wars prequel, because there was no fear then — it was obviously going to be the Best. Movie. Ever.
Tomorrow, the last remaining favorite of my childhood gets sequelled.
Today's Tron excursion has been canceled due to an imminent potential
Maybe next weekend.